In the SURGERY room

I wrote this like two years ago... At Tehillah, Neema K. said something that hit me hard… She was like people who ‘don’t have’ seek God so that he might give em what they need and those who ‘do have’ seek him so that they might not loose what they have… personally, I don’t want to be in either situations… I want to WANT God because I want HIM…

This is what was going on me at the time, and if ever your lover has put you in a tight corner, I am sure you can relate to my heart....

Father, what is going on has really caught me off-guard… You know… I wasn’t prepared for this at all… I don’t know how I am going to make it on this one, but I AM… IN YOU.., That is because you are going to carry me through it Lord.. There is no way I am going to be alone in this one… I would loose FOCUS… I would loose my MIND….

In moments like these, I am left SPEECHLESS

Speechless

Although there are many things to address, I am left speechless

I am just a little girl in a dress, and I am left speechless

The pain in me is so real, more than less, and I am left speechless

I know God cares and he is here to listen, But in his presence I am left speechless

I know that I asked for this one

 I thought it would be so much ‘fun’

To find out who or what God really is

This great priviledge I didn’t want to miss

Now, I realize that is harder that what I thought

For my way hardship is what he has brought

To teach me that there is more to what I just think is theory

It is damn painful to know who God is, all y’all out there hear me

First, he fixes you in a corner where you can’t move

Then he takes a knife, cuts your heart, and that aint smooth!!!

Though you scream, kick, cry and curse a bit

Deep down you know that all this is meant to keep you fit

Then in the midst of the pain you cry out ‘I love you Jesus, I need you’

And right there and then you realize that it is a sweet fellowship in the surgery room

You know that although this is the most painful experience in your life,

You are enjoying every moment of it because you are in safe hands

Breathe

In the surgery room

That is where I get to know who you really are

That is where I realize that you are never far

Even when you cut my heart open

You embrace me in my pain and love me more than a friend

That is why I know I will be safe in your arms

In the surgery room

In the surgery room

That is where you change her

That is where she enters into your love forever

No one can know the father without meeting the surgeon

Trust me, he doesn’t show up humbly like a pigeon.

I need a change of heart

Give me a heart like yours