In the SURGERY room

I wrote this like two years ago... At Tehillah, Neema K. said something that hit me hard… She was like people who ‘don’t have’ seek God so that he might give em what they need and those who ‘do have’ seek him so that they might not loose what they have… personally, I don’t want to be in either situations… I want to WANT God because I want HIM…

This is what was going on me at the time, and if ever your lover has put you in a tight corner, I am sure you can relate to my heart....

Father, what is going on has really caught me off-guard… You know… I wasn’t prepared for this at all… I don’t know how I am going to make it on this one, but I AM… IN YOU.., That is because you are going to carry me through it Lord.. There is no way I am going to be alone in this one… I would loose FOCUS… I would loose my MIND….

In moments like these, I am left SPEECHLESS

Speechless

Although there are many things to address, I am left speechless

I am just a little girl in a dress, and I am left speechless

The pain in me is so real, more than less, and I am left speechless

I know God cares and he is here to listen, But in his presence I am left speechless

I know that I asked for this one

 I thought it would be so much ‘fun’

To find out who or what God really is

This great priviledge I didn’t want to miss

Now, I realize that is harder that what I thought

For my way hardship is what he has brought

To teach me that there is more to what I just think is theory

It is damn painful to know who God is, all y’all out there hear me

First, he fixes you in a corner where you can’t move

Then he takes a knife, cuts your heart, and that aint smooth!!!

Though you scream, kick, cry and curse a bit

Deep down you know that all this is meant to keep you fit

Then in the midst of the pain you cry out ‘I love you Jesus, I need you’

And right there and then you realize that it is a sweet fellowship in the surgery room

You know that although this is the most painful experience in your life,

You are enjoying every moment of it because you are in safe hands

Breathe

In the surgery room

That is where I get to know who you really are

That is where I realize that you are never far

Even when you cut my heart open

You embrace me in my pain and love me more than a friend

That is why I know I will be safe in your arms

In the surgery room

In the surgery room

That is where you change her

That is where she enters into your love forever

No one can know the father without meeting the surgeon

Trust me, he doesn’t show up humbly like a pigeon.

I need a change of heart

Give me a heart like yours

Amma gift to the world...

Unwrap me, reveal me

This life is not about me

If I have anything that you need

Your spirits thirst I am here to feed

I was brought to this realm for you

There is so much for me to do

I was born here to reveal The Truth

Everybody hear me y’all

Amma gift to the world

Amma gift to the world

A gift doesn’t exist for itself

Its purpose isn’t just to act cute on the shelf

I wanna live full and die empty

It doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to have plenty

Of money and cars and friends

To be known that every party Esther attends

But to fulfill His purpose is my mission

The one I was given from the beginning of creation

Everybody hear me y’all

Amma gift to the world

Amma gift to the world

The world wouldn’t be the same without me

There is something unique in me you see

If I don’t act who will?

If I don’t speak but be still

I rob the giver His right to own me

I rob the world the pleasure to be free

From sin and its consequences

The bondages of the soul and evil forces

See I can’t change the whole world by myself

But I can do my part awakening those who are deaf

Who can’t hear the sound of his heart beat

Who are lost in a corrupt system tryna make ends me

Everybody hear  me y’all

Amma gift to the world

Amma gift to the world

See I’m tired of playing church

I’ve been there, I’ve done that, cause I was jus tryna search

For love in the wrong places

Living a double life always changing faces

Giving my body to fill the void within

Thinking me he’ll end up lovin’

But I’ve come to realize love is a way of thinking

Not of myself but my brother who is hurting

I’m not part of the change I am the change

The whole system just needs to be rearranged

I aint gonna sit and do the blaming game

I am fit and I can function I aint lame

See we forget that life is a gift and it is short

We know the story but focus on the wrong plot

Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness

Decide to be productive refuse bareness

The church is a gift to the world

Come out now and be bold

Every sector needs to be told

And see the unfailing love of Christ unfold

Everybody hear me y’all

Amma gift to the world

Amma gift to the world 

The Passionate Woman Jazz Poem (12th Sept 2010)

Quietly she entered into the room

In her hand holding the jar of a perfume

“I shall not miss this moment”, she  thought

Especially since this jar I have brought

This jar is my life

Like a husband is to his wife

I am passionate about this jar

It has cost me my life, a life full of scars

But I choose to give it to Him

It is the only costly thing I have

I will give it to him

My pain, my past, I am dirty

I admit I am wrong, I am guilty

And filthy, and empty, yet thirsty

For the one who is mighty to save me

I give him my worth, my pride, my dignity

This is all that I have and it is not about my beauty

For He is the one who makes me beautiful

Though they reject me, though they use and abuse me

Though the Pharisees and the sadducces claim that theyu know God

They don’t love me, they don’t cry for the lost

Where are the true lovers of God

Who will keep His command – to love God and love man

Where are they who are ready to repent

To change their way of thinking

Look at how in sin the world is sinking

Look at how in sin I am sinking!

All I want is to kiss his feet

To hear the sound of his heart beat

I kneel before him

I lay down my glory and adore him

He is the God of a second chance

He is my lover, my joy and my romance

And to Him I give my life

To Him I give my life.